Today is the beginning of Week 3 on the challenge, and I am determined to get my motivation back.

Week 2 was not a good week. I was exhausted for no apparent reason for days, I was cranky for no apparent reason for days, had a headache and quite frankly began to lose sight of why I was doing this to myself. I went through almost an entire block of lindt 70% cocoa dark chocolate on Wednesday before realising that I just had to remove all chocolate from my 2 shelves in the pantry, so the 3 remaining blocks that I had waiting for me were promptly thrown out along with the 5 or 6 pieces left from that block I had consumed. We may be allowed a little bit of chocolate on the challenge, but apparently I have zero will power when I'm having a bad week, so it's just best to completely remove it from my diet. I wasn't struggling with hunger like I had been the week before (thank god!), but I had managed to find those crackers at work a few times all the same. I also skipped 2 days of exercise (Wednesday because I was home in bed with a massive headache and Friday because I'd had a difficult day and just wanted to go home).

I had always said I wasn't an emotional eater, and I wholly and soully believed that as well! Last week was definitely an eye opener for me. I had no particular reason to be feeling the way that I was feeling, aside from hormones, which I had also believed was not an issue for me, pfft... apparently I learnt a lot about myself last week! On Friday night, I fell off the wagon and ate turkish bread with dip (a lot of it), although I still managed to keep away from the bottle of wine that my best friend had cracked open. I'd also come to the realisation that I could no longer afford to keep living above my means and had to deal with the fact that I am very very broke and need to start repriotising my life, as I found out I'm going to have to find almost $1700 over the next few months to fix various things on my car (and yes, I still managed to stay away from that bottle of wine!).

I had thought that this challenge would be easy, that I would breeze through. I am learning the hard way that I really knew nothing about myself before now.

Now, onto the positives of last week (surprisingly I managed to find some!). Most importantly, I did not turn to the bottle of wine, that is definitely a positive, as I have managed to remain alcohol free through the challenge so far and am determined to keep it up! I had also discovered the Saturday before that I actually COULD do push ups on my toes, so I have now vowed to never go back to push ups on my knees again, and on the Saturday just past, I successfully did 2 laps of the oval where we do our group training sessions without having to stop and walk. I also pushed myself further than I have at previous sessions and felt great for it afterwards. And, drum roll please, I also discovered that I love almond milk, and when using it in cereals, teas and coffees, I no longer require any sugar! To me, this is possibly the most exciting thing out of the whole week!

So, my goals for this week. Do ALL 6 exercise sesssions (even if I am exhausted and in a foul mood), sort out my finances (because this is pretty much the source of all my bad moods and emotional ups and downs), and deal with the fact that I am always the one organsing to do things with everyone else, but rarely get invited to do stuff (another source of my emotions lately, and not something I want to go into here, but it is something that is causing me to turn to food in a way I had never noticed before... I really just need to stop looking at facebook, because it gives you a glimpse of everyone elses lives and makes you think yours sucks because you're not out partying every weekend, getting married, having babies, travelling the world... blah blah blah).

I will be in Darwin with 2 of my closest friends the weekend of the 4 week challenge, so my best friend and I are going hiking in the Glass House Mountains this Saturday instead, and I am surprised at how excited I am by this! I know I'm going to be sore and sorry on Sunday, but I'm excited! Who knows, it could lead to an exciting new hobby!