From my last blog post, one would think that I had finally kicked my bad habits for good.
But no, the weekend happened, didn't it?
Apparently I can only be good during the week and then weekends happen and I seem to give myself this licence to do whatever I want with food. I regret it afterwards (and I know that while I'm doing it I'll hate myself for it, yet I still do it). Whether it's because I skip my snacks and therefore become starving by dinner time, I don't know, but I really need to work on this. Then Monday came, I did pretty well until dinner time, but because I'd gone home from work early with a killer headache, the four slices of pizza that Karen offered me just seemed so much easier then getting a ready made meal out of the freezer and microwaving it. Then Tuesday rolls around and I stayed in bed all day. I was fairly good, although I again gave in to temptation when Karen offered me turkish bread and dip (although I did leave her to drink the wine alone, I'm doing OK there, thank goodness! Although the massive amounts of painkillers and anti-inflammatories in my system definitely helped me to turn the wine down). Wednesday rolls around, and because the hard boiled eggs I'd taken to work weren't looking so healthy, I had to throw them out, but instead of reaching for the protein shake like I meant to, I went for the crackers... Yep, that's right, the crackers again people... And then my dinner was four slizes of toast with crunchy "light" peant butter (don't forget the light part, that made it totally acceptable... NOT!), yoghurt with berries and then, just cause I felt slightly hungry, the last mini packet of grain waves chips that I had left...
WTF is wrong with me?!
I think I've been trying to lose weight for so long now that I am slowly just getting over it all. Remember, I was attempting to shed the kilos long before I started the Challenge, and I'm getting really over always thinking about food, making myself feel like crap when I don't go to the gym (I haven't been since Thursday, FYI, although I danced on Friday night and took the dog for a massive walk on Sunday, but that's it). I'm tired. I'm over it.
I know I should watch the videos that Michelle Bridges has on the challenge website, but when I'm at home, the last thing I feel like doing is continuing to stare at a computer screen after doing it all week at work. I'd rather stare at the huge TV screen and zone out for a few hours.
I am fully aware that I am making excuses, but the past few days I have been struggling big time. I haven't been up to the gym because of the intense pain in my head (I've been grinding my teeth in my sleep, no doubt because of the fact that I am stressing about food and not losing any weight). And when I do make plans for fun things to do outside, the FREAKING WEATHER squashes my plans, aka the football this week, the past 2 months of trying to get to dancing on a Friday night only to have it pouring rain, a bushwalk this weekend...
I think I'm just in a very bad mood today. Let's see how I go with diet and exercise today!
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