Week 3 Weigh In

Today is Weigh In Wednesday. I love the cutesy little things on this challenge, weigh in wednesday, super session saturday etc. I was naughty and weighed myself yesterday morning as well, so I wasn't too shocked this morning when I saw that I had only lost 300g since last weeks weigh in, bringing my weight loss total to 1kg since the challenge started.

Now, I am a little annoyed about this, however, I am very good at rationalising things (just ask Karen, we rationalise a lot of things together, makes it a lot better when you have someone to blurt out how you're feeling to and then sit down and work out 1) why you're feeling this way and 2) how the heck to fix it).

I have lost just under 6 kilos since we got back from Europe in September last year. Not a huge loss, but one I'm very happy with. When I was 18 and 19, I had an eating disorder. I went from 70kgs to 49kgs in just 6 months. I was also incredibly unhealthy and screwed up as all hell within myself. Apparently people I went to high school with thought that I'd developed cancer or something equally drastic, but in my mind, I looked fantastic and I could fit into clothes that my naturally slim friend could fit into. But she looked healthy. After awhile, I looked terrible, and when I hit 49kgs, I was the most depressed I have ever been in my life. Then my grandfather passed away and I took a good look at myself and realised what an idiot I was being. So I started eating again, without making myself sick after every meal.
Then the reverse happened. I went from 49kgs to 92kgs in a span of 3 years... I blame the fact that I had screwed up my metabolism, threw out my scales and was eating whole mud cakes from Coles in 3 days.
I've been struggling with weight ever since I was 18 years old. I'm now 28 and refuse to repeat the mistakes that I made back then.

So this time, when I see that I have lost 1kg in 2 and a half weeks, I look at the bigger picture. I focus on the fact that I have lost nearly 6kgs since October (not 21kgs in 6 months!). I focus on the fact that I am the healthiest I have been in a long time. I focus on the fact that I am happy. I focus on the fact that where once, this small amount of weight loss would have sent me into a spiral of depression and caused me to give up, turning to things like mud cake and other naughties, I instead focus on the chant we are all familiar with - "slow and steady wins the race". And it's very true.

10 years ago I lost 21kgs very very quickly, and look what it has done to my metabolism! I refuse to do that again and so now, that 6kgs looks like the best number in the world.

If I only find that I have lost 10kgs come October, then that's fine. It's still 10kgs.